2. When in town, always respect the local law and officials, and try to be a gentleman at all times.
3. Don’t take advantage of someone who is in a vulnerable situation, locals or other hobos.
4. Always try to find work, even if temporary, and always seek out jobs nobody wants. By doing so you not only help a business along, but ensure employment should you return to that town again.
5. When no employment is available, make your own work by using your added talents at crafts.
6. Do not allow yourself to become a stupid drunk and set a bad example for locals’ treatment of other hobos.
7. When jungling in town, respect handouts, do not wear them out, another hobo will be coming along who will need them as bad, if not worse than you.
8. Always respect nature, do not leave garbage where you are jungling.
9. If in a community jungle, always pitch in and help.
10. Try to stay clean, and boil up wherever possible.
11. When traveling, ride your train respectfully, take no personal chances, cause no problems with the operating crew or host railroad, act like an extra crew member.
12. Do not cause problems in a train yard, another hobo will be coming along who will need passage through that yard.
13. Do not allow other hobos to molest children, expose all molesters to authorities, they are the worst garbage to infest any society.
14. Help all runaway children, and try to induce them to return home.
15. Help your fellow hobos whenever and wherever needed, you may need their help someday.
16. If present at a hobo court and you have testimony, give it. Whether for or against the accused, your voice counts!” —The Hobo Code of Ethics, created by Tourist Union #63 during its 1889 National Hobo Convention in St. Louis Missouri. If you can’t get enough about hobos - and really, who could? - there’s more here.
It occurs to me that I haven’t quite introduced myself to you, Tumblr. Here goes.
My name is Amelia. When I was a kid, there were few things I hated as much as my own name. The Sleeping Beauty was my favorite fairy tale/ballet, and so I wanted to be Aurora instead. I also hated words including “heart”: sweetheart was particularly loathsome to me. Now, I have much more positive feelings about my name (and about heart-words).
Some more basics: I’m a Sagittarius, 5’6”, green eyes. In college, I studied old movies but “concentrated” in Literature and have a B.A. that says my major is Liberal Arts. This won’t shock anyone, but with a piece of paper like that to my credit, I currently work in retail. Les temps sont dûrs pour les rêveurs. If it means anything to you, I like dogs way more than I like cats. I also like oceans way more than I like mountains, forests, deserts or anything else. My favorite author is Vladimir Nabokov, with Jane Austen running a very close second. I don’t actually read very much, though. For shame. I watch lots of cooking shows, and have ludicrously strong opinions about celebrity chefs. Ever since I was very young, I’ve loved ballet, much more as a spectator than as a dancer (tried that; didn’t work). Schwanensee is German for Swan Lake, in case you cared or were curious. Sylvie Guillem is my favorite dancer. I am usually a compassionate person, but I am also usually an impatient person. Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt until I’m trying to pass them as they waddle down the sidewalk. I am in love. Aside from four misspent years in college, I’ve lived in Massachusetts all my life. American pride doesn’t make sense to me, but Massachusetts pride does. Fred Astaire is my favorite movie star. Right now, I’m bored with most of my music library, but the old favorites are Neko Case, the Dresden Dolls (as well as solo Amanda Palmer), Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, Cole Porter, and the Gershwins. Don’t let that list of generally respectable music fool you, though: my love for trashy music is extreme. It is impossible for me to select a favorite movie, so I’ll just say that if it’s on TCM, I probably love it or want to see it or wish I’d been in it.
So those are the basics. This is what I look like.
Well, more or less. My hair is a little shorter now. Also, it’s not summer anymore. But you get the idea.
That’s about all I can think of, pathetically. You’ll figure out a lot about who I am by the random junk I dump in here. I think I’m a bit of a simpleton. You’ll see, you’ll see.
The Wall Street Journal has written the best damn article (here) about NBC’s Tonight Show fuckery, or about anything ever:
NBC Will Regret Appeasing Leno
Conan was the Czechoslovakia of late-night TV.
Cultural historians are desperately seeking a precedent to the Jay Leno-Conan O’Brien fiasco. They are looking in the wrong places. True, Pat Sajak, Chevy Chase and Joan Rivers all got axed from late-night talk shows after shockingly brief stints at the helm, but none of them got $32.5 million to take a hike. And none of them got replaced by the person they had replaced. And none of them pouted about getting canned for general incompetence while millions of their countrymen—who had not actually failed at their jobs—were unable to find work.
No, the most appropriate parallel to the debacle that has humiliated NBC took place in central Europe in the late 1930s. It happened at Munich.
Jay Leno, much like Adolf Hitler, is a master of making secret demands for foreign territory and then acting like the wronged party. First he pretended that he wanted to annex only the first half-hour of Mr. O’Brien’s “Tonight Show.” Here he was mimicking Hitler, who insisted that he merely wanted to annex the German-speaking Sudetenland, not all of Czechoslovakia.
Then, adopting the craven British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain as a role model, NBC stabbed Mr. O’Brien in the back by agreeing to let Mr. Leno reoccupy the first segment of his old “Tonight Show” slot. NBC’s defense was that Mr. O’Brien had dismal ratings, and the show was a bit of a mess. But the same can be said about Czechoslovakia, a hodgepodge cobbled together after the First World War that never really got its act together.
Returning from Munich, Chamberlain joyously waved a piece of paper in the air and proclaimed that the accord with Hitler guaranteed peace in our time. Returning to Burbank, NBC officials expected the same result from its deal with Messrs. Leno and O’Brien.
Here’s where the parallels become even more eerie. In acquiescing to Mr. Leno’s sotto voce demands to annex one-half of “The Tonight Show,” NBC thought it could put the whole ugly controversy to rest. Wrong. Interpreting generosity as weakness, Mr. Leno began to maneuver for complete control of “The Tonight Show.” Here he was again taking his cue from der Fuhrer, manipulating his outgunned adversary into a position so humiliating he literally had no choice but to surrender. Just as Edward Beneš, president of Czechoslovakia, was forced to abandon ship once he had been betrayed by his erstwhile allies, Mr. O’Brien was forced to abdicate and cede his entire one-hour program to the man he had replaced. He did get a significantly bigger going-away present than Beneš, however.
Today, NBC—much like Chamberlain—is daft enough to believe that Mr. Leno’s demands will now cease. If history is any guide, this is unlikely. After pocketing Czechoslovakia, Hitler immediately took dead aim at Poland. Using the same game plan, Mr. Leno will soon go after “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” which follows “The Tonight Show,” quite possibly demanding that NBC expand “Tonight” to its original 90-minute length.
Just as Hitler sought to return Germany to its prewar stature by acquiring Austria and the Sudetenland, Mr. Leno will seek to restore “The Tonight Show” to the mythical stature it enjoyed under his predecessor. Hitler wanted to be thought of as the second coming of Frederick Barbarossa. Mr. Leno wants to be thought of as the second coming of Johnny Carson. Joey Bishop might be more appropriate.
And just as Hitler made his annexation of Austria appear to be the Austrians’ idea, Mr. Leno will need Mr. Kimmel to invite him to assume command of the show. Perhaps NBC can offer him the same $32.5 million Mr. O’Brien got, and an extra $10 million not to kick up a fuss. At this point, who’s counting?
Some may say that drawing comparisons between Jay Leno and Adolf Hitler is unfair. These people have obviously not been paying attention to the horrible things Messrs. O’Brien and Leno have been saying about each other the past two weeks. It’s enough to make Josef Stalin blush. No, the more you look at it, the more disturbing the parallels between today’s Los Angeles and yesterday’s Munich seem.
NBC probably believes that once Mr. Leno controls both late-night television and late-late night television, his dreams of global conquest will be sated. Well, everyone knows what happened in the Danzig Corridor in 1939.
So if you’re anchoring the 11 p.m. news program that precedes “The Tonight Show,” don’t get too comfortable. The blitzkrieg is right around the corner. And you’re Poland.
Maxine made me get a Tumblr, even though I’m not cool. SORRY.
Right now, there are a few things on my mind. One of them is that Rich Sommer, who looks like this on Mad Men
looks like this on his Ugly Betty guest spot.
Aaaaaand this is how I’m introducing myself to the cool kids’ blogging site. Hi.